Reflection for August 12 Wednesday of the Nineteenth Week in Ordinary Time: Matthew 18:15-20

Gospel: Matthew 18:15-20

Jesus said to his disciples, If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. 

If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. Amen, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 

Again, amen, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

+ + + + + + +

Reflection:

What would happen if Jesus were truly at the center of our marriage?

There would be love, humility, forgiveness, peace, and harmony in our homes. Husbands and wives would learn to love one another not merely according to their feelings, but according to the love that Jesus teaches us. Our children would grow up seeing Christ-centered marriages and would learn that true happiness is not found in the material things of this world, but in a life rooted in God.

But let us have a reality check: Is Jesus truly at the center of all marriages? Sadly, not always. Oftentimes, what takes center stage in marriage is our ego, sinfulness, pride, selfishness, or greed for money. When these things take the place of Jesus, love slowly gives way to resentment, trust is wounded by betrayal, and unresolved conflicts can eventually lead to broken marriages.

In our Gospel, Jesus teaches us not only how to practice fraternal correction but also how to approach one another when there are problems within marriage. When a husband or wife sins against his or her spouse, the first step should be to talk about it privately, honestly, and lovingly.

There should be no shouting, humiliation, or air of dominance. Instead, we should bring into that conversation the love, humility, forgiveness, patience, and compassion of Jesus. We are not called to correct one another in order to win an argument or prove that we are right. We correct one another because we love, because we care, and because we desire to help one another return to what is good and pleasing to God.

When we allow Jesus to be present in our conversations, even difficult ones can become opportunities for healing. The spouse who has committed a transgression may be moved to humbly acknowledge the wrongdoing, ask for forgiveness, and make the necessary changes. At the same time, we must also have the humility to examine our own hearts and ask whether our words, actions, attitudes, or choices have contributed to the wounds within our marriage.

Following Jesus does not mean that we will never experience problems in our marriages. Rather, it means that when problems arise, we do not face them alone. We invite Jesus into our struggles, our misunderstandings, our wounds, and our moments of weakness. We allow Him to teach us when to speak, when to listen, when to correct, when to forgive, and when to change.

Nothing is impossible when we commit ourselves to following the teachings of the Lord and when we choose to walk away from anything that leads us into sin. With Jesus at the center, our marriages can become not only a place where we experience human love but also a place where God's love is revealed, lived, and shared.

Let us therefore ask ourselves: Is Jesus truly at the center of our marriage and family, or have we allowed our ego, pride, possessions, desires, or hurts to take His place? And if Jesus is calling us today to forgive, to change, to let go of something, or to love more deeply, are we willing to surrender our hearts to Him and allow Him to restore what has been wounded?—Marino J. Dasmarinas