A certain man and his three friends.

There is an old Jewish story which goes like this. A certain man had three friends.

He liked two of them; but had little use for the third. One day he was ordered to appear in court. Alarmed, he looked around for someone to defend him. He immediately thought of his two favorite friends.

One said, "No way! I'm not going into any court." The second one said, "I'll go as far as the king's gate but no farther."

In despair the man then asked his least-loved friend for help. He said, "Sure, I'll come." And he did come, and he defended the man so well that he won his case.

Jewish rabbis go on to explain the story like this: Every person has three friends when Death calls and he must appear before his Creator. The friend he loves most is money; but it cannot go with him a single step.

The second friend is his circle of relatives and neighbors. They can only accompany him to the grave side. In no way can they defend him before the Judge.

His third friend, whom he neither likes nor esteems, is the only one that accompanies him to the judge and wins his case.

That friend is his list of good deeds done during his lifetime. ... (Jacob Braude)

My narrative on the last two days of my Aunt: Gilda D. Altamia (Feb 1, 1934-Nov. 9, 2007)

(Mila, Cynthia Villar, Gem and Eden)

Last Friday (Nov. 9), Auntie Gilda succumbed to her lingering ailment. She triumphantly defeated her oppressive sickness. I was there and I witnessed her last two days in this material world to which we presently belong.

It was last Thursday (November 8) when I first saw her in the hospital. Her two sisters (Mila and Eden) were taking care of her. I was with my siblings (Grace, Jun-jun, Darwin, and Nino). Upon seeing her, I had this gut feeling that it is just a matter of time before she departs to the great beyond. She was very thin, and her breathing was deep, her eyes barely open. There were three nurses with her they were frantically trying to find a vein where they could insert a needle to facilitate the passage of medicines to her body. They tried it on her hands, they tried it on her feet to no avail. We therefore asked: “What’s the problem?” they told us that they can’t locate a vein. They went out for about thirty minutes then they were at it again trying to locate a vein: They were successful this time.

Afterward, I said, 'Hi, Auntie,' while slowly massaging her forehead. It was a very painful sight to see for a woman who was always full of life. To keep the mood light, I said to her, 'You'll get well.' She slowly nodded, as if saying, 'Yes, I will get well. 

Every now and then she would be restless. She would move side to side then she would slowly motion that she wants to be seated. So, I would lift her up, only for her to lie down again. This became her routine for the day.

Later in the afternoon her doctor told us that she was slowly being poisoned by her blood and it results in her constant unguarded movements. After the doctor left she motioned again to be seated. This time it was auntie Mila who helped her to be seated and while seated Mila embraced her while saying: ‘We love you, do you love us?’ And she would groan as if saying: Yes I also love you all! I lost count of those beautiful and touching exchanges of loving words and groans. I was looking at them and I witnessed a very moving sight of love: Agape love.

Around 7:00 pm her doctors came again and frankly told us that she needed to be put on a breathing machine (ventilator) or she would probably die anytime. We huddled for a brief moment and said, please do whatever it takes to extend her life. After a while, the machine was brought in, and we were politely instructed to leave the room first so that they could proceed with the procedure.

After about 30 minutes, we were informed that the ventilator had already been attached, and we could go inside now. So, we entered the room and saw her with all these tubes attached to her. This time, she was unresponsive to our whispers and urgings; I think she was already in a comatose state by then. 

Subsequently, Auntie Gilda's grandchildren and daughter-in-law also came. After a few minutes, her daughter (Gem) arrived from Singapore. Here, I witnessed another moving and heart-rending scene. Gem was sobbing deeply while caressing her Mama and saying, 'Mama, you told me we would still talk. You told me that you would wait for me.' Motionless, I suddenly saw tears flowing from my aunt's eyes, as if to tell her that she was hearing her cries and pleas. Then, she slowly started to move one of her hands toward her mouth as if trying to remove the ventilator so that she could talk, even for a short time. We gently blocked her hand and whispered to her not to remove the tube. After a while, her son (Boyet) called, and the cell phone was put to her ear. I believe she heard him because tears started to slowly flow from her eyes again. 

Around 12:30 am we went home. 

The next day, we were there again. We arrived around 5:30 pm, and it was the last hour and a half that I would see her breathing. After staying out of the room for about 15 minutes, I went inside and quickly went outside to call our relatives. Then we closed the door and prayed. We made the sign of the cross and prayed the Our Father (the prayer that Jesus told us to pray, Matthew 6:9-15), with three Hail Marys and one Glory Be. Then, I followed it up with a spontaneous prayer, lifting, commending, and entrusting her to God, while my relatives were saying 'Yes, Lord' and 'Amen.' After the prayers, I tenderly caressed her forehead while silently saying a prayer.

(Cynthia Villar, Mila and Elsa)

After that, I went out of the room while my relatives were praying the Rosary. When they were through, I went inside again with a prayer booklet that I got from the lobby where the image of Mama Mary was located. I prayed to Mama Mary to take care of my aunt's journey towards heaven. Then, we made the sign of the Cross, and I read the prayers and the litanies. My aunt was still breathing, softly and very slowly, and the line on the screen that monitored her heartbeat was nearly flat already.

I went out of the room again and after that went back inside and I witnessed her last grasp of breath, the line on the indicator was already flat. I softly touched her still-warm body while saying my silent prayer for her and I closed her eyes, kissed her on the forehead and I slowly walked towards the door: my eyes welling up with tears.   

Death is always a good wake-up call for all of us who are still on this temporary journey. It is a reminder that we will also go through this process. There's no exception: rich or poor, learned or not.

For me, life is as simple as the rising and setting of the Sun. In the morning, we slowly see the Sun beautifully rising, and late in the afternoon, we see it magnificently setting as well. It's also like a song, with its beginning and eventual ending, and it's like rain; it pours, and after a while, the pouring ends.

(Mila, Boyet and Cynthia Villar)

That’s our life too: we have our beginning and eventual ending. What is important while we are still actively on this journey called life is that we know who Jesus is and have a deep friendship with Him. 

We can always develop a deep friendship with Jesus through the Holy Mass. In the Holy Mass, the words of God are read in the Liturgy of the Word, and Jesus is made present in the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Upon the consecration of the Priest who acts in Persona Christi (in the Person of Christ), the ordinary bread and wine become the Body and Blood of Jesus. In the Mass, the scene of the Last Supper is repeated, when on the night before His crucifixion, Jesus instituted the Eucharist, and that was the first celebration of the Holy Mass (Luke 22:14-20).

It is also important that we read the Bible, especially the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, because in these Gospels, we will gain personal knowledge of who Jesus really is.

If we know Jesus, we need not fear death because death is the final hurdle to be in heaven with the angels, with the saints, and with Mama Mary. And finally, to be in the permanent company of our Triune God.

Eternal rest grant unto Gilda O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen. - Marino J. Dasmarinas